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BMX Bandits Cover BMX Bandits

★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

BMX Bandits is so easy to criticize it seems unfair to review it. But trudge on, we must, for the record. The bike community deserves to be warned.

From the see-through story line to the corny jokes, the ridiculous characters to the mediocre acting, the scratchy voices to the annoying music, this movie deserves to be forgotten. No wonder it was so hard to find a copy!

This movie’s claim to fame is that it gave BMX a boost. In fairness, BMX Bandits was aimed at kids who like BMX. But instead of making BMX look cool, it makes BMX look like a fad. The stunts are lame, and the kids sport gear that no one would wear, not even in the 1980s. The only laugh comes from the warning posted at the end of the film: “The stunts in this film were performed by professional stunt riders. For your own safety, PLEASE DO NOT IMITATE!”

Of course, that’s just the nudge the target audience of teenage would be waiting for. Not to worry, however. Most of the “stunts” were not dangerous. They involved riding down stairs, on sidewalks and through stores. Only two stunts were creative: standing upright on the seat of a BMX and taking the BMX down a waterslide.

Most of the stunts occurred during chase scenes that were accompanied by obnoxious, synthesizer music. A lapse into this chase-mode music indicates a good time for a beer or bathroom break.

Much is made of the fact that this was Nicole Kidman’s debut film, but she disappoints, too.

Meanwhile, don’t let this wreck discourage you from watching films from “Down Under.” The Australian cinema is one of the best in the world and includes such masterpieces as Breaker Morant, Gallipoli, Muriel’s Wedding, The Piano, Strictly Ballroom and Crocodile Dundee.

Title: BMX Bandits
Year Released: 1983
Duration: 88 minutes
Language: English
Bike Content: 5/10 wheels

Posted by Greg Borzo on 09/03 at 10:01 PM